Mission: Grocery Shopping
by Smrtypantz
Summary: Naruto, Sai, Sakura, Kakashi, Sasuke, and Yamato set off on their toughest mission yet...grocery shopping.


**Author's Notes: **YAY!! My first submission! I'm really happy now!

Well, this is pretty much a story about the adventures team 7 and its new members go through when...well, grocery shopping. May contain some spoilers if you haven't watched Shippuden or read the manga.

**Disclaimer:** Ha. I only own Naruto in my dreams.

* * *

Sakura brushed her fingers through her hair in front of the mirror one last time. Her pink hair seemed to be in just the right position. She grabbed her purse, along with a list of supplies, and headed out onto the streets of Konoha.

Tsunade, the fifth Hokage, recently assigned Sakura's team a D-rank mission, of all things. You'd think that after five years of intense training, near-death experiences, and quite a lot of skill and cunning, that team Kakashi would be ready to handle an A-rank mission once in a while…

No. Now that Sasuke was back, Sakura, Naruto, Sai, Kakashi, and even Yamato were only allowed to perform D-rank missions. Tsunade felt that Sasuke could escape again at any time, and the best way to keep him within the walls of Konoha was to remind him of the "good old days" as a genin. No matter all that Sasuke had ever done before, like betray her heart, cause Naruto so much pain, etc., could they ever forgive him for this.

It honestly sucked to have this mission.

"HEY!! SAKURA-CHAN!! OVER HERE!!" screamed Naruto, frantically waving his arms in the air in order to get her attention. Sai was smiling that fake smile of his at her arrival, and Sasuke nodded his head in order to show that he acknowledged her presence. Kakashi was late, as usual, and Yamato was currently trying to stop Naruto from having his arms come out of their sockets.

Mission "Grocery Shopping" was going to be a long one…

* * *

"Okay, team," Sakura continued. "Does everyone have their assignments?"

"Wait! When do we buy the ramen?" Naruto asked. Sakura sighed and slapped her hand to her forehead. "Naruto…for the hundredth time, we are NOT," Sakura shouted, while hitting him on the head with her bag. "BUYING." Another hit on the head for Naruto. "RAMEN!" Sakura shrieked, laying one final blow on top of the head of the poor, naïve boy.

"Sakura…" Naruto muttered softly while rubbing the big bump that formed right at the top of his head.

"Okay, just to go over this again, Sasuke, you're with Kakashi and Yamato. You're going to purchase three cartons of milk, one loaf of bread, four boxes of Chocolate Covered Wafer Doodles, and a pack of spearmint gum. Got it?"

"Yeah, yeah…" Sasuke stated calmly. Kakashi, too indulged in his book to have any clue what Sakura had just said, nodded his head absentmindedly in agreement. Yamato nodded his head as well, but at least he was paying attention...or so Sakura thought.

The pink-haired girl, hopeful that they would remember everything, turned to her two other teammates. "Sai and Naruto, we will go fetch one cabbage, four large carrots, seven onions, and a pickle. Understood?"

Sai gave that fake smile of his, although, as time wore on, his smiles seemed to become more genuine. Naruto, however, was still rubbing his sore head.

"Alright…let's move out!"

* * *

Sasuke, Kakashi, and Yamato

Sasuke pushed the cart through the dairy aisle while Kakashi walked behind him with Yamato peering over his shoulder. No doubt they both loved Icha-Icha Paradise. "Come on…" Sasuke said, waving his hand in the air to gain their attention.

"Do any of you have a clue as to what Sakura said we were supposed to get?" Sasuke asked, thoroughly annoyed for not writing down the stupid list of groceries anyway.

"Yeah, yeah…" Kakashi said, with a wave of his hand. "We're supposed to get four gallons of orange juice, one loaf of cake, fourteen boxes of Chocolate Covered Wafer Doodles, and six pack abs…"

Sasuke momentarily twitched at that last statement. "Kakashi…" he said slowly. "Are you sure that those are the things we're supposed to get? Are you sure she didn't mean a six pack of soda or something…?"

Yamato, too absorbed reading the book over Kakashi's shoulder, said, "I think he's right…"

Sasuke, looking at the two grown men who had just started giggling at something they just read (no doubt it was probably inappropriate), sighed and said, "Okay, then. Follow me."

* * *

Naruto grumbled as they all stood in the vegetable aisle. How he hated vegetables…they tasted bad, and they looked bad...Heck, they even smelled bad!

Sai calmly picked up a cabbage and placed it into the shopping cart. Sakura, busy looking over the list, counted off the last of the items. "Okay, guys," she started. "We've gotten everything except for the pickle. I have to go to the bathroom, so do you think you could pick up that one last item and meet me by the restroom?"

"Yes, hag." Sai stated.

With an involuntary twitch, Sakura left the two misfits to carry on the rest of the shopping. Even though she had combed her hair that morning, the vegetable aisle still made her hair frizzy and poufy…she needed to fix it again. Desperately.

Naruto, now all alone with Sai, stated quickly in a whisper, "Okay, Sai, here's the plan."

"What plan? I thought we had to go get a pickle?" Sai asked.

"Yeah, yeah, we'll get a pickle later. But I ran out of instant ramen in my house, and there's enough money here to get at least ten more pickles afterwards!!" Naruto said in a hurried voice while, once again, raising his arms in the air.

"I am not sure about this Naruto." Sai said.

"Listen, Sai, unless you want me to push you into one of the freezers with that half shirt of yours, you'll help me!"

Sai, looking at his outfit which exposed, in his personal opinion, his awesome abs, did not find the idea of spending time in a freezer enjoyable. He agreed to help Naruto.

* * *

Four gallons of orange juice, one loaf of cake, and fourteen boxes of Chocolate Covered Wafer Doodles later, Kakashi, Yamato, and Sasuke were all gathered in the grassy training area, sweating up a storm.

"FASTER!!" yelled Sasuke, heavily breathing. Kakashi and Yamato looked like they were about to die.

"Please…Sasuke…we need to stop!" cried Yamato. He couldn't take much more of this torture.

"Fine…" Sasuke said, brushing his fingers through his sweaty hair. "Five minutes."

Kakashi and Yamato crashed to the ground, heaving to no end.

"However," Sasuke started to say, "because of this wasted five minutes, we'll be doing crunches for another hour!"

In the distance, Tsunade heard the high-pitched screams of two small girls.

* * *

Naruto was wearing a black ski mask, slipping around the aisles with the quick agility of a ninja. Sai, pushing the shopping cart, was right next to the goofball. "Naruto…" Sai began.

"Sh!! Sai! Do you want us to get caught?!" Naruto screamed, just a little too loudly.

"HEY!!" They both heard someone shout. Was that security? "LET'S GET THOSE ROBBERS!"

Yep. It was security.

The three husky guards tackled poor Naruto to the ground and continued to beat him with their clubs, despite Naruto's cries of pain and misery. The other officer cuffed Sai from behind.

"Excuse me, officer," Sai began. "I believe you are mistaking us for someone else. You see, we were merely looking for a pickle." He stated this calmly while applying that fake smile onto his face.

The officers all stopped in midair from whatever they had been doing, gave quick glances to one another, and pressed both Naruto and Sai against the wall.

"So, you robbers are both flaming homosexuals, eh?! You sick monsters!" the security officers shouted continuously. Mothers clutched their children in fear.

"WHAT THE HELL??" Naruto was screaming, while kicking his feet in the air.

* * *

Kakashi and Yamato had both lifted their shirts. Sasuke counted, and recounted, and recounted, just to make sure.

"Why do you both have only FIVE pack abs?? Is that even possible?!" he shouted. "Listen to me clearly. I came back to Konoha on my own will, and was forced to partake in D-rank missions. If we fail gaining six pack abs, I will have no problem carving the sixth of the abs with MY KUNAI. Got it?"

Kakashi and Yamato were cowering in fear. Sasuke had certainly changed after being with Orochimaru…they shuddered at the thought.

"Now then," Sasuke began. "FASTER!!"

Kakashi and Yamato did crunches with all their might for the rest of the day.

* * *

Sakura had patiently waited for Naruto and Sai to come back…for THREE HOURS.

Storming out of the super market, she was determined to find out what the heck happened to the rest of her team. Sasuke, Kakashi, and Yamato were nowhere to be seen, while Sai and Naruto had just randomly disappeared. She should have known not to leave those two misfits alone together. Anything could happen.

Sakura ran quickly to the Hokage Tower to explain the situation to Tsunade. When she spotted the Fifth Hokage, she shouted, "Hokage-sama!" to gain her attention.

Tsunade turned around, and upon seeing Sakura, said, "Um…about your teammates…"

Sakura, surprised that Tsunade knew the whereabouts of her friends, listened intently.

"You see, Sakura…" Tsunade began.

"Yes?!" Sakura said frantically.

"Sai-and-Naruto-are-in-jail-and-Kakashi-Sasuke-and-Yamato-are-in-the-hospital-with-severe-abdominal-injuries!" She exclaimed all in one breath.

Sakura fainted.

* * *

Naruto and Sai were in jail, next to a woman named Butch. Sai continued to draw lines on the wall while Naruto continued to stare at Butch in the corner, crouching in fear.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Well, I hope you enjoyed this little one-shot of mine! I hope to write romantic fics, but I don't think I'm ready. Please review to tell me how I can improve!

Oh, and btw, I have nothing against anybody's sexuality, I just thought it'd be funny to insert in the story XD


End file.
